So I was out working the fields the other day and my crew got hit with some bad shit. Leapers and Zappers, sure - seen them before and I'll write my notes here. But then there was this Spectre dude too and he was Bad News.
Leaperz: these things look like someone who'd never seen a dog before heard about them from a blind drunk, and then went to make a model of one out of a bunch of old bones. Like, weird fucking shit. And they're all different, too - some have actual skulls and some have head made out of, like, hand bones. I saw one that had two hipbones for a face! That's not right. They bite and claw and they're pretty tough but they can't really hit a damn thing - fire a bunch of arrows or throw rocks and you'll knock them apart. You wouldn't think arrows would work well on a creature made of old bones, but there it is.
Zapperz: You know when you cook a roast and then leave it out and there's all this fatty goop in the pan? Well imagine two big handfuls of that that floats around and shoots tiny sparks. They're not very accurate and they're kind of pussies - smack them with a shovel or something and you're good. But yukko - floating jelly-goop balls? That's fucked up.
Spectrez: This fucking guy. All right. They're like a guy, anyway, but you can see right through them. They usually wear some kind of jewelry like rings and bracelets and all, but it's some cursed shit. That's how they get you - they'll try to smack you but their hand will pass right through you - it's freaky and all but it doesn't really hurt. Maybe a little cold? You can shrug that off. But the bracelet thing will fucking haunt your dreams and make you unable to have an orgasm or something. Looks pretty but leave that shit alone.
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